a little tipsy sometimes...

A little tipsy sometimes…

I recently came across a blog in which the author had narrated an incident where he attempted an exam while being drunk . As I read it, I was reminded of a pretty similar incident which happened sometime back during my engineering days.

Half of my stories in the blog have a mention of booze in them , and if you have read them , it must have given you an impression about me that I am a drunkard .

Well , to be honest , I am not . My booze intake was ‘nothing’ compared to other members of our hostel gang . Its just that after rounds of shots , while most of them used to go to bed, I used to go around doing silly things . 

I don’t drink regularly , in fact I prefer to stay away from it on most occasions , that being said I would also like to add that , there goes no celebration without it  and being a little tipsy just keeps your ‘spirits’ ‘high!!’

“That’s it !! I can’t .” I said ramming the text on the table “I have given up .”.

It was 11 in the morning , still an hour an half to go for the university exam , and like most occasions , it was still Greek and Latin for me in the texts .

“Dude ….study the last chapter…its pretty easy “ , said Pramod . L , keeping his eyes deep in to the text and shuffling pages like a robot .

Pramod . L and me are friends , and apart from the first name , we do not have much in common , but we have helped each other a lot during the exams , in fact it wouldn’t be wrong to say that much of the ‘manuscripts’ written by us during the exams were pretty similar , actually they can be said to be Photocopies with different handwritings !!

“No dude.. i can’t make it “, I said like a wounded soldier .

 Well , battle against the university is no less than an actual battle , exception being the weak bodied , thin and half dead looking geeks and bookworms find it much easier to sustain the three hours , than the gym hitting and athletic bodied guys like us .

And the irony is that , nobody finds the above fact ironical .

Pramod . L or ‘ L ‘ as I call him , was still shuffling pages , I looked outside through the balcony overlooking the lush green college round , the weather was beautiful , perfect for a picnic , or a game of cricket .

I wonder why the weather gets on its bloom every time we have exams , as if there aren’t other distractions like the new season of some t.v series that someone downloaded , or a movie that had been seen hundred’s of times , yet it appeared totally interesting while standing on the door , hooked to the scene, promising oneself that studies would be resumed right after he scene gets over  , or the new video game that some computer geek downloaded with the cheat codes . Some novel that someone pulled outside from the junk with a handful of days left for the exam , cricket series  basketball seasons kicking on ESPN , new issue of Maxim ect  .

I brought my eyes back to ‘L’, he was struggling , never in my life had I seen him so sincere , I realized that now then  I had given up too , he didn’t stand a chance in the exam , I felt sad for him and if it was in my powers to give marks , I would have , to everyone , including the geeks ( they are people too !!) .

“Lets go to Mayuri” I said to him , he looked at me and smiled , “ you are crazy “ he said .

Though he might have rejected the idea in its first go , but I knew he was still thinking about it and it was pretty visible by the smile that was floating on is face .

I knew , if I could push him a little he would fall of the edge and he would drive us to the nearest bar (Mayuri) .

I closed his book , “lets go, we have an hour and twenty minutes to go … one quarter .. that it … we shall share it , vodka , no rum , no whiskey “ , I placed my offer .

“No dude , you are crazy “ he replied , I could feel the difference in the tone , he was nearing the edge .

“One quarter Fuel “, he said to the waiter , and something in the vernacular , I guessed he was asking him to hurry up .

The waiter brought the bottle , it was opened in a crash , pegs were made and in no time , it was over , we didn’t talk much over the first bottle , he was still keeping his eyes on the texts . I looked at him , as the first bottle finished , he looked at me . There wasn't much to say , it was all understood , a new bottle was ordered .

“One more quarter “, he said to the waiter . As he poured the 2^nd peg from the new bottle for himself , the ‘sacred text’ had found itself a place on the neighboring table . 

Ten minutes later , he was cursing me for bring him there , while I was assuring him that next time it would be easier and that we would prepare for it properly.

 “Whatever “ he said , getting up from the chair .

It was time to attend the exam , we went to the loo , relieved our self , splashed our faces with water ,  stuffed 3-4 Center-fresh in our mouth to camouflage any smell what so ever , and drove back to the college .

I did not remember the journey , nor did he ( I asked him later ! ) .

We ran towards the exam hall , we were late by a couple of minutes , but it was no big deal . Before crashing inside the hall , I instructed him not to open his mouth , and to keep his cool in the class .

The examiner was still distributing paper , he looked at us and then went back to paper distribution , we went straight to the seats and waited for him to come and give us the papers . The junior girl sitting  besides me , looked at me , I gave her a serious and cold look , held my breath for a couple of moments till it was impossible to hold onto any longer . I suspected she had smelled the vodka , I didn’t want to add more to her suspicion .

There is this peculiar thing about our college , there are two branches I particularly wish to talk about .

The Mechanical and the Biotech , the former one is only about boys wile the later one , well…  it wouldn’t be wrong to say is ‘only’ about girls . And booze is not an issue in these two branches, both the branches like partying .

The ‘chicks’ in biotech in a  few  ways  are  much  better than  the  geeks  of   our branch ( E&C ) , they won’t mind gulping a couple of shots now and then , coz its like an adventure for them . Well they are a wild set of girls who believe that boys should not have all the fun !! .
And as for the mechanical , well booze is just another form of lubricant to keep the machines rolling .

A couple of minutes later , we were given the paper and the bell in the corridor signaled that it was time to begin .I looked at the question paper , except the first question rest all appeared like Greek and Latin again !

I turned back and glanced a view on ‘L’ , he was playing with his pen .

He raised his eyes and looked at me , I raised my eyebrows , to ask what we usually do… ‘how much you know’ , he shook his head…  ‘nothing‘ , I shook my head in reply…’same here’.

I looked around in the hall to find a couple of eyes doing the ‘survey’ before writing , there were a couple of geeks making expressions as if it was the toughest paper ever and their chances were as good as ours , there were a few other who could not join us in the bar , coz they had some ‘first aid’ hidden in their shoes and pockets , while the rest was the humble crowd , they were busy with the struggle , they were the ones none hated , or cared about , they were the normal crowd , they had no plans of making it to the  ‘red carpet‘  . A few of them were expecting something over the ‘Poverty line’ while others were trying to touch it .

I broke into a chuckle , then realized that it was not a regular lecture hall but an exam , and started scribbling the required information on the first page .

One hour was over , I had answered to my potential , the first thee questions were all I knew in the exam , they rounded upto 20 marks , I could not have scored more than 15 ,   ( it’s the rule ). Still a twenty more were needed to pass the exam , I had virtually given up , I could have walked out , but I didn’t feel like , not that I was bothered about coming out first , but I just didn’t feel like getting up , I was kind of lazy .

I read the 4^th question , it was asking for some description of a model , the name suggested its prehistoric origin . ‘hmmm… ‘ I began writing , I repeated the lines in the questions carefully , making no errors or spelling mistakes , then glanced out of the window , the clouds , the sun , the tree everything seemed so majestically beautiful , that I could not stop myself from describing the beauty of the nature . At this point it was the poet in me who had taken charge . The metaphors and the similes flowed till the end of the page , it might not have been technically correct  but I think to this day it remains as my best literary work ever . I felt happy after ‘answering’ that question , it was ‘beautiful’ , it wouldn’t be wrong to say that if I would have read it again , a tear would have definitely slipped my eyes . ( in fact my literature teacher would have kissed me , if she would have got a chance to read it . )

The next question was answered in less poetic but critical view , in the ‘answer’ I described the various problems I was facing , the shortage of money due to excessive partying , the tasteless food in the hostel mess , the fines I had to pay , the college policies which needed revival , etc . One point worth while noticing was that I made sure that my handwriting was good. It was cursive, it had all the grooves and turns Merlin Monroe had. But the problem was that, my Monroe could grab some unwanted attention, but the artist inside me was too tough to be stopped, while I was drunk.

I answered a couple of more questions with the same vigor and enthusiasm, stating examples and inferences from world politics, women empowerment, The holy bible and The Gita .

By now ‘L’ had already invited trouble, he was caught peeping into neighbor’s booklets and then for an argument with the examiner, he was sent out. All that happened when I was busy scripting nature and when I was drowning in deep thoughts and philosophy.

I had filled quiet a number of sheets by now. Now it was time for the moment of truth, the last question . Here I apologized for all the crap and poems I had pulled up , sitting in the exam . I don’t remember writing much, I kept it short and brief, just as the question had asked ‘Answer in brief ‘.

I handed out my paper to the examiner and left the room after 2and a half hour of rigorous writing and creative work , only a couple of leaves were left in my answer booklet , it was a job well done .

I was still trying to remember the poem, which I had written in the exam, when I met ‘L’.

“so hw was it ?”, he asked, I smiled back , “we ll write it again next time “, I replied .

We both broke into a chuckle and walked our way to ‘Mala-Shop’ (the famous pan shop near our college , its on Goggle Maps too !! , one of the advantages of lending desperate students cigarettes , they return favors in unexpected ways .)

A couple of months later , results were declared , the poet inside me had done what an engineer could not have , I scored 38 (35 + 3) out of 100 (grace brings you 35 , but you have to earn 38 !! ) . I had passed the subject , my excitement and surprise knew no boundaries .

I wondered if it was my poem describing the nature or the sincere apology letter that had  got me such a score .

Well…there are two shops which would never run out of business in Bangalore , one is the wine shop and the other is the Juice shop , so either ways it could have been an equally drunk professor or a tired man who spilled juice on my answer sheet .