just like the old times...

would you know my name ,

if I see you in heaven ,

Would it be the same,

if I see you in heaven .

I must be strong , and carry on ,

coz I know, I don’t belong ,

Here in heaven …

                            --Eric Clapton .

Just like the old times….

Time does not stop , moments do .

Sitting by the shore , felling the cool fragrant breeze which carried the aroma of the water and the warmth of the mild fire , they looked into each other’s eyes . They were both smiling through pain and didn’t want the other to know . 

They both knew it , it was easy to read their eyes , they just didn’t want to confront  it .

“ A couple of months more “, said the doctor hiding his face from the eyes which expected hope .

“There must be something …”. He could hardly complete his sentence and a heavy tear rolled down his cheek . He looked away and wiped it off before anyone could see it .

“ I am sorry “, said the doctor holding his trembling hands , “be strong … for her “ .

“ What did the doctor say ? “, she asked before he could enter the room .  “nothing much, as usual , regular reports” , “you know how things work ...” he replied avoiding her eyes , picking up the bottle from the table . He knew a lot of questions waited for him . “ you know something ? “ she asked .

He gathered himself , looked at her , still finding himself unable to look into her eyes and asked “what ?”.

“you might never learn to lie “.

And he burst into tears , she held him in her weak arms , as he rested his head on her chest dried of the chemo and medications , consoling him .

He was crying like a kid , a kid who had just realized that his favorites pal would leave him alone , and would go far away , never to return .

“Don’t do this to me ..Damn it ! “, “please... don’t do it to me “.

They sat there for hours tired , broken , helpless .

The fire had oozed down , the half burned  ashes were flying up in the moonless sky , orange and yellow , trying to fill colors on the black canvas which was jaded with diamonds far and wide , the ashes would rise and disappear in the night .

“ remember , the last time we came here”, “out of nowhere , it had stared raining “ he said , breaking the silence . “ ya and you had to spend next two days in bed , crying and complaining “, “what a cry baby ! “ she replied winking , making fun of him .

They smiled and he felt weak but , still continued smiling , he was in deep pain , probably more than her .

She came and sat in front of him , resting her head on his chest , he took her shawl and enveloped both the bodies .

He took her slender fingers in his hands and planted a gentle kiss . “remember when you had fractured your hand , learning to drive that old scooter “, he said “ I didn’t mind cooking for both of us “,“It was fun to see you making faces and getting angry for what I did to the kitchen “

“ohh..ya..and you still haven’t bought me the bangles you promised after wrecking my kitchen “ she replied pinching his cheek softly .

They laughed , smiled through the night , playing games , mocking each other , and the stars witnessed the night , with heavy hearts , carefully hiding their tears from each other.

Somewhere in between his story , she closed her eyes , it took him long to realize , for it was so peaceful , that it felt like the moments had frozen .

Time never stops , but moments do .

They lay there under the moonless sky jaded with diamonds far and wide . The next day it was going to be some other place, some other time from the past, some other memories waited their return .

“ Let’s relive all the moments , all the times we spend together “, she said wiping the tears off is cheeks . He had stopped crying now ,the helplessness was too tough to get over with . “ lets live our life again “ she said looking deep into his eyes , holding his face in her weak hands .